He was watching cartoon in his sofa - his favorite trains running around in TV. I have had a good sleep so I was as calm as though I had meditated. I decided I can converse sensibly. I went to him kneeled so that I am facing him and said "you know Daya, dont say I dont like mommy, it makes me sad, sometimes angry. Dont say I dont like mommy okay?" He had woken up with very bad mood (hungry and usually annoyed just before peeing - too much salt hypertension I guess - I usually ask him to pee and that calms him down and then give him something sweet to reduce the acid mood due to hunger and we made progress. Then I gave him milk and he was okay. So he was watching cartoon happily and I thought I could talk.I have had my soan papdi and coffee too!
He looked at me and replied "I was fighting mommy" in a simple and straight tone just the way only an innocent child can do. I was stunned. I didnt know he knew the word fighting and its precise meaning or rather varied applied meaning and how to use it in a conversation reasonably. Putting both dialogues together I suddenly realized the parenting role had switched. I saw that he was patiently waiting for my response - listening? So I tired to be honest "I didnt know you know the word fighting Daya. So when you are angry and fight you curse, I see that. You know I just thought I would let you know, it doesnt feel good when you call me bad mommy!" Sigh I felt like a complete child whining to a mother! :)
I had danced and have given a horse back ride with him after that. I was on computer and there was his photo on it when he came to look. I asked him "who is this daya" - because he was covered in winter coat. "Thats bobby mommy" Bobby in our home lingo is bad boy. "But thats not mommy, thats daya" I am still thinking he is calling me bad. "Daya bad boy" 'oh, so ... hmmm! why on earth' I wondered. "You are not bobby Daya, you are a good boy. Mommy thinks you are a good boy" I was already feeling guilty if I have given this very wrong idea that he is a bad boy and he has already started accepting it and I am growing up this monster who would say I am bad so what kind ...But he cut off my crazy thought flight immediately and said "Daya bobby, Daya fighting no?" wow. I was stunned. What he meant was ... you know. I didnt know what to say. After a minute I said "Fight may be bad, yes. Right now Daya is not fighting. So mommy loves Daya. Mommy thinks Daya is a good boy, okay?" and he seemed fine with that.
God they grow up so fast!
He nowadays says "please mommy" properly ...
He even says "last time mommy, one last time mommy" when I have refused something and he wants it. I let him have it one last time ofcourse!
I am growing up too, rather a bit slowly I should confess! :)
15 min after the blog published - in the shower I was screaming my throat off "how many times should I tell you Daya, dont open the curtain when the shower is on, who will wipe all the water off now?" and he said "Sorry mommy" with such a sad face I wish ... sigh.. parenting is very emotionally challenging ... To my excuse he had spilled so much water soaking his bus and car in and out of the tub only half an hour ago! .... While I am typing this part - he is already serving me an imaginary cake singing happy birthday to mommy (yes imaginary birthday - he wishes everyday was everybody's birthday - he likes that party and happiness of it all) and " saying surprise for mommy "... with a box of biscuits - I wish I could move on with life this fast and forget to forget :) ... sigh! :)
and right now I am laughing my head off ...
Because he said "sorry Bobby" I had screamed "Dhaaayyyaaaaaahhhh" he was throwing his toys (huge ones) so dangerously and one hit right on the phone and made it jump out.
This one I saw in facebook in my students site. I think this is the most relevant image for this blog! :)
He looked at me and replied "I was fighting mommy" in a simple and straight tone just the way only an innocent child can do. I was stunned. I didnt know he knew the word fighting and its precise meaning or rather varied applied meaning and how to use it in a conversation reasonably. Putting both dialogues together I suddenly realized the parenting role had switched. I saw that he was patiently waiting for my response - listening? So I tired to be honest "I didnt know you know the word fighting Daya. So when you are angry and fight you curse, I see that. You know I just thought I would let you know, it doesnt feel good when you call me bad mommy!" Sigh I felt like a complete child whining to a mother! :)
I had danced and have given a horse back ride with him after that. I was on computer and there was his photo on it when he came to look. I asked him "who is this daya" - because he was covered in winter coat. "Thats bobby mommy" Bobby in our home lingo is bad boy. "But thats not mommy, thats daya" I am still thinking he is calling me bad. "Daya bad boy" 'oh, so ... hmmm! why on earth' I wondered. "You are not bobby Daya, you are a good boy. Mommy thinks you are a good boy" I was already feeling guilty if I have given this very wrong idea that he is a bad boy and he has already started accepting it and I am growing up this monster who would say I am bad so what kind ...But he cut off my crazy thought flight immediately and said "Daya bobby, Daya fighting no?" wow. I was stunned. What he meant was ... you know. I didnt know what to say. After a minute I said "Fight may be bad, yes. Right now Daya is not fighting. So mommy loves Daya. Mommy thinks Daya is a good boy, okay?" and he seemed fine with that.
God they grow up so fast!
He nowadays says "please mommy" properly ...
He even says "last time mommy, one last time mommy" when I have refused something and he wants it. I let him have it one last time ofcourse!
I am growing up too, rather a bit slowly I should confess! :)
15 min after the blog published - in the shower I was screaming my throat off "how many times should I tell you Daya, dont open the curtain when the shower is on, who will wipe all the water off now?" and he said "Sorry mommy" with such a sad face I wish ... sigh.. parenting is very emotionally challenging ... To my excuse he had spilled so much water soaking his bus and car in and out of the tub only half an hour ago! .... While I am typing this part - he is already serving me an imaginary cake singing happy birthday to mommy (yes imaginary birthday - he wishes everyday was everybody's birthday - he likes that party and happiness of it all) and " saying surprise for mommy "... with a box of biscuits - I wish I could move on with life this fast and forget to forget :) ... sigh! :)
and right now I am laughing my head off ...
Because he said "sorry Bobby" I had screamed "Dhaaayyyaaaaaahhhh" he was throwing his toys (huge ones) so dangerously and one hit right on the phone and made it jump out.
9 comments:
the 'my room' photo is so funny...
ashok
happy growing up to the kids and mom, and happy anniversary to ur parents. it is the same which my daughter sent to me
I really loved it the first time I saw it on my students site ... though my mom was never too strict,.. but she used to polambify, "etuththa jaamaane etuththa etaththila vaikkira pazakkamE kitaiyaathu yaarukkum intha vIttula" almost everyday! :) ... But somehow when I finished writing this blog my conscience brought this picture in my mind - I went into my students site and said I liked it :) finally because I got the idea better now when I started describing my son's behaviour! :)
hi chandra, real time contact! :) you are right there online ... great to see you again
during the entire time I was writing this blog I was thinking about a comment you had said before ... "the only thing that bothers us later is when the child didnt oppose ... " or something like that ... I have to hunt back that comment - because I loved the way you had worded it then precisely!
my goodness its dec 12 ... I had forgotten ... thank you chandra ... and is it time to ask who are you?!!! ... I had this feeling that you know us ... but may be time to first make the phone call... thanks again!
I am from tirunelveli too, but I dont know you. Last year this time you mentioned it was your parents anniversary, and I replied it is our anniversary too...:) that is the connection
oh yes! Happy anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Chandra! :)
My phone call didnt go through yet ... have to keep trying ...
cant believe I forgot! Running around in the office space and hiding and making calls now from lunch room and stairs and all that! :) should have done it form home if I had remembered!
thank you K, convey my greetings to your mom
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