dare to buy

Warning: adult topic. children keep out.
Sinner alert: The pious seek the pages of the holy men, apples bitten around here.

We had been talking about it right starting from home, before entering the car, in the car, parking it, stepping down from it. After landing in India, buying this has become such a personal challenge. Note:no blame on society and culture. Just a huge personal challenge. So prax tells me, come on go in, there are three pharmacies here, take your pick, there are sales girls inside, you can do it, try it. Hmmm ... ya, I should be able to, actually I can, but I suppose I am not going to, ... you go, ... you do it ...

After a lot of fuss, and sulking with great personal defeat I returned home not once or twice, but as much as a spider did once in a cave. I caved into my cowardice and said, you know what, lets order it online. There is no way we can get it online in India says prax and I triumphantly discover the page to order it online. My ego is greatly satisfied now since I finally am buying though hiding online. Atleast I am buying it. So I go ahead order it and wait happily. Actually at two places I ordered, only one went through I suppose.

To our utter embarassment the package comes through SIFY though well covered, but clearly having a "bill displaying the content inside"! And living on campus, the package gets delivered to the central office. We came to know about the arrival of the package after half the college staff has had fun gossiping about it, including the clerks and security men. Prax tells me god damn it, this is worse than buying it ourselves in a pharmacy ... if you do this again... he rolls his eyes! After all I had ordered it in his name! :) and I ordered quite a colorful set of packages including a gift pack. So his colleagues actually thought some friend of his is pulling a prank on him by sending that package! Thank GOD, Indians are still that innocent.

Well you have guessed it right. I ordered it from moodsplanet.com. The order that I gave it to kamasutraontheweb.com for some reason didnt go through!

We are not going to talk about why prax doesnt buy it in a pharmacy, like Amitabh could in Cheeni Kum! The point of discussion here is whether a thamizachchi can go get it.

I stood in front of these pharmacy shops with my personal kurushetra on kamasutra, and observed that pretty much all pharmacy counter front glass transparent shelves are decorated with "napkins" - colorfully. I still dont feel that comfortable getting that yet, especially if there is a male in the counter. Ya, shoot me. Somewhere down there I am such a useless idiot. All this big talk - sex education blog - and all that non sense and cant get myself a piece of napkin, without second thought. I am the classic example of barking dogs dont bite!

Anyway, since I do write very ambitiously on big things, the point of writing down this blog was on my inability to buy "female condoms" in India. Yes moods have it and you get one with a variety pack. But I wonder if I step into a pharmacy and said "give me a female condom" standing like Milind Soman's sister or something, and if the salesgirl asked me what is that, I might cry there. I cant pretend for more than 3 seconds as far as I can predict.

I am 33. Married. Actually twice! Grrrr... and still cant go get my own condom. Hey hey hey, I am not blaming the society or culture here. Just plain me. Just think of this fact that I hesistate everytime buying a napkin. For example I wonder if the sales person notes whether I am getting extralarge or panty liner, and all that. CRAZY as it is. Anyway ... give me a clue, any one of you, if a girl does go buy herself a condom in India? I wonder what if we make a movie where ,... who ... mmm... well Kajol, goes and orders a condom ... I might get some idea then. Amitabh isnt good enough!

And I very righteously look at the female condom and say, here, right here, is the sexual revolution, I am not buying a dress for a siva but a slip on for a moon, to dam the mighty ganges.

You know the truth is I am still curious about the low cost, bio degradable bamboo based napkins and havent figured out how to get them. I definitely thought the IIT Mumbai guy who showcased them here at the art center was really cool, ... among all things bamboo beautiful there was this napkin too.

I sometimes sit and dream that I own an online shop where I retail these biodegradable napkins and female condoms when it rains really hard and non-stop here when my genes get quirky. Otherwise I dream about what chocolate to buy after the rain stops as every ordinary girl should be dreaming about. I even feel silly buying chocolates all the time, and I wonder if the sales guy thinks I am too old to be eating this many chocolates. DAMN conscience.

NB: The conflicting truth is that, long long ago, the first time somebody challenged me, go get it yourself, I just walked straight in, got myself a pack from the hanger at the super store, paid for it and walked straight back and said "here you go." That was CVS pharmacy in New York State. I cant figure out where my problem is now! You know what we really need, a superstore where the condom packs can be picked up ... and we can have an automated machine to pay. How cool! But in reality, female condoms are supposedly distributed mainly to AIDS prevention and sex workers in India. Now what can I do with such a big mountain to break - the salesperson could think thousand things, in my mind. We definitely need an online store. Please start one, and send me a link!